I've fallen and I can't get up. I just can't shake this depression. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm pretty much constantly in pain from the endometriosis. Sitting for long periods of time exacerbates things, and of course I am either sitting in front of a computer or driving, all day every day. I used to look forward to riding, but now I think, what is the point, either I will be in pain while I am riding or, if not, then I will pay for it double later when it really kicks in.
I also hate this time of year. Starting with Halloween, heading right through Thanksgiving and Christmas, all of it just reminds me that I don't have a family of my own, I am far from my nuclear family and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't want to be with them anyway.
At least I can drink and take pretty much any medication out there, since, as all the commercials say, I'm not "pregnant, nursing or plan to become pregnant". Silver linings, people.
Also, just a quick note of clarification, that little filly Devious lives where my Missy lives, but she doesn't belong to me.
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Donna,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry this is continuing. I hope the fog lifts soon.
I live closer to my extended family but I don't want to be with them either. That's a difficult thing to say - I don't think I've really made peace with it.
ReplyDeletePain, constant pain pervades and colours everything. I'm sorry you're having so much of it.
Keep hanging on (please)
DinoD
I'm sorry that you're having a tough time right now. I hope the fog lifts soon.
ReplyDeleteDude. I am sorry.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about nuclear family...I don't miss the holidays back in MI.
That so sucks about being in pain all the time...that just ain't right. At all.
((HUGS))
Donna, I haven't visited in a while and I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. I hope you can get the physical pain sorted with treatment and medication. As for holidays, I think they are mixed blessings for many of us - certainly not aways happy; quite often fraught. Hoping you'll feel much better soon and that 2009 is a more positive year for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Donna:
ReplyDeleteFollowed you over here from your comment @ Cricket's... Hang in there - I've got a couple of riding buddies w/endometriosis & my own struggles w/depression. Maybe it's true that misery loves company, but my cyber-friends have been an uplifting support group for me...
Hey Donna,
ReplyDeleteI haven't been feeling myself either lately, although thankfully, I don't have to deal with endometriosis. I do hope that you will get some adequate treatment soon that will work for you.
I understand your pain and thoughts on so many levels, in many ways I feel like we've been on a similar path. I've been in a funk too and sadly, some days I think the wine gets the best of me, because sometimes, it's just better not to feel.
Anyway, just want you to know that I am thinking of you, and I do wish for you to 'Just snap out of it, Girl!' (Easier said than done.)
Take care of yourself,
Ramona
Hey girlfriend,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're feeling fogged in. I've been distracted with all sorts competing work and house remodel projects but I have a feeling the holiday blues are not far off -- they're as dependable as well, the arrival of the holidays. Hang in there. And know you're not alone...
where a door closes.. a window opens :) My "family" is here in Montana.. the friends and horsey people I've met... my "real" family is on the east coast... hmmmm.. no accident there :)
ReplyDeleteonward thru the fog..
blessings
gp in montana
Donna,
ReplyDeleteOh, but you do have family! All of us are with you through those horrible, miserable rough times. We are your family!
Thinking and wishing that tomorrow will be better for you, even just a tiny bit.
Donna, I'm sorry you're in so much of both physical and emotional pain. I do think the physical pain is incredibly debilitating, I do hope there is something out there for you.
ReplyDeleteOn the emotional side, I dont know what to say other than we remain here for you, even if we don't know what to say or to do.