Saturday, March 7, 2009
Print by Wilma Sanchez
It may be slightly hypoerbolic to say that this was the worst thing that could happen, but I hope you will forgive it. I got laid off this week. I've been laid off or have otherwise lost my job many times, but I have never been in the situation I find myself now: both my partner and I will soon be unemployed, unless one of us finds someone willing to pay us to do something in less than 40 days. I know, I have been unhappy at work and wished for something different, but I wanted to be able to handle that on my own terms and in my own time. I knew business was down and thought perhaps my hours would be reduced, but honestly I did not think they would let me go entirely. Coming on the heels of losing my biggest client, I can't help but think that must have played into their decision. I am really, really trying not to go to that place where I blame myself and think that everything I touch turns to shit, eventually. Back to being Typhoid Mary. No, I am not going to go there...
To add insult to injury, not only am I still having to babysit my replacement at the client I just left, I am now having to help my company come up with a transition plan for someone else to take over the work at all of my clients.
My body is in bad shape. Nearly every muscle in my body is tense and sore, I'm having spasms in my back, my neck is tight as a rope and my calves feel like they are on the verge of seizing up every time I stand up.
My chest and face are breaking out like it's the night before junior prom. My endo pain is flaring and I am spotting in the middle of a cycle. My stomach seems OK, surprisingly, but that's probably because I'm not eating much.
My sleep is disturbed by nightmares, sometimes the same dream over and over all night long. I've dreamt more than once of having to give up Miss. I will never allow that to happen. I would sooner lose my house than one of my animals, they are innocent and my complete responsibility.
I got the news on Monday. It took until yesterday to really sink in. I know there are literally millions of people in far worse shape than me, but somehow that is small comfort.
I rode Miss today and will again tomorrow. She's happy to have a job. I'm thankful at least one of us does.
Posted by Donna at 9:54 PM