I’ve been putting off posting this, I guess I don’t want others to have a negative opinion, but I’m going to risk it because I value your input.
By almost all accounts, my husband is a wonderful man (my ex isn’t overly fond of him). He’s thoughtful, compassionate, not afraid to cry; he writes poetry for Pete’s sake. He’s also a hunter. A big game hunter. He returned from his yearly hunting trip a few days ago, having killed a large buck. This is the first deer he’s gotten in several years of trying, which at least made me feel a little better for all the money it costs for the license and tags and the trip itself. But I just can’t get past the feelings of disgust and bewilderment at how and why this man I love would even want to do this, let alone actually do it.
This is the one issue we can’t and won’t agree on, we don’t discuss guns or hunting because there is no room for compromise in either of our positions. There are many men in my life who hunt, including my Dad (who is a lot like D in many respects), my BIL and nephew and a few close friends. I remember having the same feelings as a child, not understanding why Daddy would shoot a pretty deer and why is it hanging upside down in my garage?
D thinks I am afraid of guns and has gently inferred that if I went with him to the range and shot a gun it would lose some of its power. I am not interested in holding or shooting a gun, ever. He says this is my past talking – I’ve been held at gunpoint twice, once during my rape and once during a home invasion robbery. He might be partially right, but I also don’t believe I need to do anything about this, as far as I’m concerned, it’s a healthy fear.
But that isn’t what bothers me…I just can’t wrap my head around the dichotomy of my animal-loving husband purposefully killing an innocent animal.
He has a theory. He says that all men have primal instincts and they need outlets for them. Some men are ruthless businessmen, some beat their wives, some drive too fast – he spends a week in the bush once a year with a gun.
I am trying not to be a hypocrite here. I eat beef and pork and veal and I understand that these were once animals and they had to be slaughtered and skinned and cut up so I could have a BLT. The buck is being prepared by a commercial butcher and the meat will be eaten (not by me, mind you, I don’t like venison). D and his buddy had to dress out the buck in the bush, which involves a lot of butchery. I can’t allow myself to visualize this, particularly the cutting off of the antlers. Just typing that gives me the chills.
Anyone have any words of wisdom for me?
Totally OT – I was at the gym the other day and one of the TVs was showing an installment of E’s “101 Sexiest Celebrity Bodies”, which is strong incentive for another 5 minutes on the elliptical. The segment I watched was numbers 80 to 61. I came in at #67, which was Enrique Iglesias (I was glad to see this was both sexes). It was the next one that really threw me though: #66 was Jennifer Aniston. WTF? #60 was Demi Moore. I thought, Jesus, who the hell is #1 – Barbie? So I looked it up when I got home: Brad and Angelina were #2 and #1. Ouch. Sorry Jen.
Speaking of hot bodies, last week’s episode of Nip/Tuck featured Mario Lopez as a young stud of a plastic surgeon who Christian meets at the gym. I’m not a fan, I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars and he’s a bit too cutesy for my tastes, but holy moly, he has a rockin’ body. Go here for some pictures of their gym shower scene (NOT work safe). I think I need a cold shower myself.